Stop feeding us dog food
Stop feeding us dog food
Disclaimer: Don't say aww that's sweet after reading this post because you are missing the point.
Yesterday it hurt my feelings when I brought all the stuff this homeless guy tried to steal at the gas station and he literally asked me why I was being nice to him. Like are you serious? I could've cried like when I tell you the stuff he was stealing and it's going to make you mad or want to cry too. It was necesities like a tooth brush/tooth paste, a sandwhich, and Greek yogurt.
First off, it pissed me off how the guy chased him outside and embarrassed him like that in front of me. Homeless people are S T I L L humans. Excuse my French, but wtf are you serious?! He lowkey thought I just wanted to purchase his food for myself. It actually had me taken aback at first when he said I'm going to get more stuff when I told the guy can he charge me for everything the guy tried to steal. I thought he was gone to ring up hella stuff for me to buy and I was like no I'm only buying this, but he stood confused looking at me like my head was cut off because here I was probably so much younger than this grown man telling him he can't get stuff to buy. Secondly, when I seen the total even though I'm not balling by any means, I got even more pissed at the fact that the guy embrrassed that man like that for stuff that was under $20. I literally rolled my eyes in my head and asked the guy if he wanted more stuff. You know what he told me ? He told me I wasn't buying his stuff in disbelief.
I'm like what are you talking about and in my head I'm like I know he didn't think I magically had his taste in food and just thought to myself hey everything he stole looks so bomb. I then passed him the bag and he asked me why? I was further frustrated like huh? I didn't even snap a picture with him like most celebrities do to post on Instagram because I didn't think about being good to him. I was literally so confused as to why people can't just be nice to others without them questioning their motives and that is the very reason alone I was scared to post this because I didn't do it to be some Saint. I paid for his things without thinking because I realize I'm a borrower from God and everything I have isn't mine. Granted I've never stole anything even though I was so broke one time I ate expired spaghetti noodles in the back of the pantry when it was the last thing I had. Don't judge me.
Have you ever been so broke that you ate a Broccoli taco? You find yourself creating the weirdest things pretending it's good when you have to survive. After that, I used to drink a gallon of water to get full when I ran out of expired spaghetti. You know mayonnaise can be used as oil? Me neither till I started experimenting and cooked it to turned the expired spaghetti noodles into garlic noodles while adding seasonings. I always told myself when I was that broke that at least I'm going to always pay my rent/utilities. I always had in my mind that people were not going to pity or talk about me.
I probably should have stole a piece of chicken or something like Precious when I was starving, but my pride would have rather me starve than steal because I'd feel bad. More than that, when people forget to charge me for something at a store I take whatever it is back and make them either charge me for it or leave it there. In these moments I curse myself realizing I've become my mom because she did that. My mom was so sweet to everyone no matter how they treated her and I used to literally turn up on her for letting people use her because I was over protective just like my best friend currently is to me.
After being homeless or eating something expired or just barely surviving off water, I notice that I make it a habit not to give homeless people food I've eaten and don't want anymore. Yeah you can do that to make yourself feel better, but homeless people are not dogs so stop giving them dog food! I buy homeless people food I've never touched or ask them what they want if I have it just because I know that you start craving even the simplest of things when you don't have nothing sometimes. Even though I never had to live outside because God had favor on me, I did sleep at the train station once because my second job let me off so late that I couldn't get home and was stranded since I missed my bus. I literally cried sitting at the train station in my skirt and thin sweater shirt (restaurant uniform). At the restaurant I worked, they literally did not care that I had a full time job or lived on the other side of town when I used to beg them to let me leave when the restarting closed at 1:30 because I had a 2 hour bus/train ride and I didn't want to miss the last train. They didn't care that I didn't have a car or know what uber was at the time because frankly even if I did it wasn't in my budget to use either.
The fact still remains that had I not got this apartment months ago, I'd literally have to quit my good paying job and just suck it up to go to a shelter not because I was broke, but because I lost my ID and couldn't live in a hotel again with no ID. I didn't have enough time to order one and even if I did order one, I had no address because I was homeless living hotel to couch.
I noticed God did that for a reason because he left me with no options. All I could do at one point was trust him to get me a place. My new place literally found me so I applied, got approved, and moved in within 24 hours. If you've ever applied for an apartment you know they take weeks and drag it out even if they know they were not going to give it to you because 20 people applied first. They be so thirsty for the application fee that they take your money anyway even when they've pretty much made their decision. Why do big apartment companies do that so much to minorities? I constantly ask God to never let me forget those moments of struggle when I did things that I never thought I would because I refused to ask for help. I've asked someone in my family for help and had my business get back to me through the grape vine through someone I don't talk to which made me start rationalizing my pride while God kept telling me stop being prideful. It wasn't even like I was asking them to take care of me. All I wanted was to rent a town home that they owned and pay full price since they were renting it out, but my uncle's wife swore that they were going to use the property for a military program and didn't even tell my dad's brother that I was interested in the vacancy. Betrayal and abandonment is hurtful especially when it's family.
I always knew I never wanted people gossiping about me even though both of my parents were dead and I had no grandparents or any immediate family. I didn't want people to talk about me like they do my parentless cousins and say dang Yolanda's daughter is doing bad. Losing my place pissed me off especially because I worked so hard paying rent on time when I got my first apartment alone for them to have me denied to switch it in my name when they found out the manager let me sublease it. The funny thing is my credit that was high prior to moving in got messed up having to sacrifice bills to make sure I was able to pay my rent on time because it made me proud. It was exhilarating to say I had my own spot since I was 20 and I ain't got nobody, but nobody could take away from me how hard I worked for that place. Family that have never wronged me will probably see my story and say I could've called when things got bad three years ago or even when I had money and was floating for 8 months last year, but it's like after people gossip about you once when you you put your pride to the side do you really want to go down the rest of the list asking again? No. So yeah to say the least it made me sad when the homeless guy asked me why I was buying his stuff because I thought about him attempting to steal necessities. I noticed that the guy tried insult his manhood in front of me and realized that he'd probably pay his last money to feel like oh I got it when he didn't because of pride. Moments like that make me not able to wait until I have hella money not to just get ON, but because I'm not a slave to something as meaningless as money so I want to be able to give more away. Sometimes I purposely give away my last because I don't be caring as long as I can make it to church put something in the basket like I'm not doing God shady and come home. My bills are paid early, I buy groceries, and I'm not so consumed with always "treating" myself with fast food to celebrate my accomplishments. I say this long drawn out story to say why is it when people meet strangers that don't require anything from them it's hard for them to accept the blessing?
For Christmas I really wanted give $200 to a struggling single mom. I told them it's private and I didn't want a shout out for it. When I found somebody do you know she refused to take my money because I don't have a car. She assumed I was too broke to get one so she didn't feel right taking from me because she felt like since she had a car she wasn't worthy of taking from someone that didn't have one. I honestly just don't have a use for a car. My lifestyle is so minimal it doesn't require one right now and I haven't had a chance to waste a day at the dmv to take my test or pay for behind the wheel lessons because my mom died before she could ever teach me that summer when I was 15. I always was too busy doing something that I forget I never learned to drive until my little cousins began getting mad that I couldn't get them from school or someone tries to point out how I'm getting older.
It made me happy seeing Adrienne Bailon on The Real getting her license at 27 because she was an actress who always had money and it had never fit her lifestyle being from the east coast until she moved to LA. So hopefully you learned from what I said to one stop judging people or assuming and when people want to be nice to you without anything in return let them because being prideful can block your blessing. It worked out that she refused the money because I brought some new church clothes for Christmas because I was tired of simply coming as I am. I also wanted to have less flashy clothes and a more mature look when I start speaking publicly. I noticed I liked being covered up more and not sexualizing myself to feel cute for trendy fashion purposes. I don't care if guys think I dress like a grandma now. My husband can have something to looks forward to since I literally started cropping my Cleavage out of all my pictures. I'm not this shell so I don't care to make you feel good about yourself that you find me attractive because really what is attractive? Is there a scale? Where is it? Tell me ? The main thing I want to convey as a person who's been homeless and hungry is to stop feeding us dog food because we are human!
Disclaimer: Don't say aww that's sweet after reading this post because you are missing the point.
Yesterday it hurt my feelings when I brought all the stuff this homeless guy tried to steal at the gas station and he literally asked me why I was being nice to him. Like are you serious? I could've cried like when I tell you the stuff he was stealing and it's going to make you mad or want to cry too. It was necesities like a tooth brush/tooth paste, a sandwhich, and Greek yogurt.
First off, it pissed me off how the guy chased him outside and embarrassed him like that in front of me. Homeless people are S T I L L humans. Excuse my French, but wtf are you serious?! He lowkey thought I just wanted to purchase his food for myself. It actually had me taken aback at first when he said I'm going to get more stuff when I told the guy can he charge me for everything the guy tried to steal. I thought he was gone to ring up hella stuff for me to buy and I was like no I'm only buying this, but he stood confused looking at me like my head was cut off because here I was probably so much younger than this grown man telling him he can't get stuff to buy. Secondly, when I seen the total even though I'm not balling by any means, I got even more pissed at the fact that the guy embrrassed that man like that for stuff that was under $20. I literally rolled my eyes in my head and asked the guy if he wanted more stuff. You know what he told me ? He told me I wasn't buying his stuff in disbelief.
I'm like what are you talking about and in my head I'm like I know he didn't think I magically had his taste in food and just thought to myself hey everything he stole looks so bomb. I then passed him the bag and he asked me why? I was further frustrated like huh? I didn't even snap a picture with him like most celebrities do to post on Instagram because I didn't think about being good to him. I was literally so confused as to why people can't just be nice to others without them questioning their motives and that is the very reason alone I was scared to post this because I didn't do it to be some Saint. I paid for his things without thinking because I realize I'm a borrower from God and everything I have isn't mine. Granted I've never stole anything even though I was so broke one time I ate expired spaghetti noodles in the back of the pantry when it was the last thing I had. Don't judge me.
Have you ever been so broke that you ate a Broccoli taco? You find yourself creating the weirdest things pretending it's good when you have to survive. After that, I used to drink a gallon of water to get full when I ran out of expired spaghetti. You know mayonnaise can be used as oil? Me neither till I started experimenting and cooked it to turned the expired spaghetti noodles into garlic noodles while adding seasonings. I always told myself when I was that broke that at least I'm going to always pay my rent/utilities. I always had in my mind that people were not going to pity or talk about me.
I probably should have stole a piece of chicken or something like Precious when I was starving, but my pride would have rather me starve than steal because I'd feel bad. More than that, when people forget to charge me for something at a store I take whatever it is back and make them either charge me for it or leave it there. In these moments I curse myself realizing I've become my mom because she did that. My mom was so sweet to everyone no matter how they treated her and I used to literally turn up on her for letting people use her because I was over protective just like my best friend currently is to me.
After being homeless or eating something expired or just barely surviving off water, I notice that I make it a habit not to give homeless people food I've eaten and don't want anymore. Yeah you can do that to make yourself feel better, but homeless people are not dogs so stop giving them dog food! I buy homeless people food I've never touched or ask them what they want if I have it just because I know that you start craving even the simplest of things when you don't have nothing sometimes. Even though I never had to live outside because God had favor on me, I did sleep at the train station once because my second job let me off so late that I couldn't get home and was stranded since I missed my bus. I literally cried sitting at the train station in my skirt and thin sweater shirt (restaurant uniform). At the restaurant I worked, they literally did not care that I had a full time job or lived on the other side of town when I used to beg them to let me leave when the restarting closed at 1:30 because I had a 2 hour bus/train ride and I didn't want to miss the last train. They didn't care that I didn't have a car or know what uber was at the time because frankly even if I did it wasn't in my budget to use either.
The fact still remains that had I not got this apartment months ago, I'd literally have to quit my good paying job and just suck it up to go to a shelter not because I was broke, but because I lost my ID and couldn't live in a hotel again with no ID. I didn't have enough time to order one and even if I did order one, I had no address because I was homeless living hotel to couch.
I noticed God did that for a reason because he left me with no options. All I could do at one point was trust him to get me a place. My new place literally found me so I applied, got approved, and moved in within 24 hours. If you've ever applied for an apartment you know they take weeks and drag it out even if they know they were not going to give it to you because 20 people applied first. They be so thirsty for the application fee that they take your money anyway even when they've pretty much made their decision. Why do big apartment companies do that so much to minorities? I constantly ask God to never let me forget those moments of struggle when I did things that I never thought I would because I refused to ask for help. I've asked someone in my family for help and had my business get back to me through the grape vine through someone I don't talk to which made me start rationalizing my pride while God kept telling me stop being prideful. It wasn't even like I was asking them to take care of me. All I wanted was to rent a town home that they owned and pay full price since they were renting it out, but my uncle's wife swore that they were going to use the property for a military program and didn't even tell my dad's brother that I was interested in the vacancy. Betrayal and abandonment is hurtful especially when it's family.
I always knew I never wanted people gossiping about me even though both of my parents were dead and I had no grandparents or any immediate family. I didn't want people to talk about me like they do my parentless cousins and say dang Yolanda's daughter is doing bad. Losing my place pissed me off especially because I worked so hard paying rent on time when I got my first apartment alone for them to have me denied to switch it in my name when they found out the manager let me sublease it. The funny thing is my credit that was high prior to moving in got messed up having to sacrifice bills to make sure I was able to pay my rent on time because it made me proud. It was exhilarating to say I had my own spot since I was 20 and I ain't got nobody, but nobody could take away from me how hard I worked for that place. Family that have never wronged me will probably see my story and say I could've called when things got bad three years ago or even when I had money and was floating for 8 months last year, but it's like after people gossip about you once when you you put your pride to the side do you really want to go down the rest of the list asking again? No. So yeah to say the least it made me sad when the homeless guy asked me why I was buying his stuff because I thought about him attempting to steal necessities. I noticed that the guy tried insult his manhood in front of me and realized that he'd probably pay his last money to feel like oh I got it when he didn't because of pride. Moments like that make me not able to wait until I have hella money not to just get ON, but because I'm not a slave to something as meaningless as money so I want to be able to give more away. Sometimes I purposely give away my last because I don't be caring as long as I can make it to church put something in the basket like I'm not doing God shady and come home. My bills are paid early, I buy groceries, and I'm not so consumed with always "treating" myself with fast food to celebrate my accomplishments. I say this long drawn out story to say why is it when people meet strangers that don't require anything from them it's hard for them to accept the blessing?
For Christmas I really wanted give $200 to a struggling single mom. I told them it's private and I didn't want a shout out for it. When I found somebody do you know she refused to take my money because I don't have a car. She assumed I was too broke to get one so she didn't feel right taking from me because she felt like since she had a car she wasn't worthy of taking from someone that didn't have one. I honestly just don't have a use for a car. My lifestyle is so minimal it doesn't require one right now and I haven't had a chance to waste a day at the dmv to take my test or pay for behind the wheel lessons because my mom died before she could ever teach me that summer when I was 15. I always was too busy doing something that I forget I never learned to drive until my little cousins began getting mad that I couldn't get them from school or someone tries to point out how I'm getting older.
It made me happy seeing Adrienne Bailon on The Real getting her license at 27 because she was an actress who always had money and it had never fit her lifestyle being from the east coast until she moved to LA. So hopefully you learned from what I said to one stop judging people or assuming and when people want to be nice to you without anything in return let them because being prideful can block your blessing. It worked out that she refused the money because I brought some new church clothes for Christmas because I was tired of simply coming as I am. I also wanted to have less flashy clothes and a more mature look when I start speaking publicly. I noticed I liked being covered up more and not sexualizing myself to feel cute for trendy fashion purposes. I don't care if guys think I dress like a grandma now. My husband can have something to looks forward to since I literally started cropping my Cleavage out of all my pictures. I'm not this shell so I don't care to make you feel good about yourself that you find me attractive because really what is attractive? Is there a scale? Where is it? Tell me ? The main thing I want to convey as a person who's been homeless and hungry is to stop feeding us dog food because we are human!
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