Soul fated or Crazy Key?

Do you believe in soul mates? 

As much disappointment and unrequited love that I’ve encountered, I still believe. I have a stubborn heart. I’d blame it on my Taurus Moon, but I’m not really sure if that’s the cause of my stubborn heart. 5 years ago I thought I knew and I got it wrong. I go crazy following my heart sometimes and this time my bruised heart landed me on a spiral downhill with my first mental health diagnosis. Is it really mania or am I just chasing too many shooting stars hoping that I can finally find my one? 

I’ve seen too much to simply dismiss it as crazy. Perhaps that’s the way star crossed lovers collide. We encounter each other in many encounters until one day at the perfect time we meet in the physical. I believe I’ve loved my soul mate in many lifetimes and have met him many times in the spirit. Sometimes I dream and then his face just flashes in my mind like he’s calling me. I’ve been abstinent for over 7 years and year seven has been by far the hardest. Way too many men and catfished have slid in my DMs this summer. It’s been difficult hitting them all with my best hiesman and I actually got hacked on my 30th birthday by one. 

Dirty 30 has truly came out swinging and doing me dirty, but I got faith that this year can still be great despite my finances in shambles. Earlier this year I was told that I’d meet my husband soon in a unique way and while on live an unknown account told me God told him his wife would have a beautiful smile like mine. I’ve gotten so many confirmations on my husband’s name that even though we’ve never officially met I’ve still been loyal. Now I think to myself and wonder if that was him catfishing me on live or was that just the manifestation of more mental illness in disguise?