The Lemon & The Squeeze

Last year, I made it a point to become a wife or at least make the necessary improvements within myself in order to prepare for the man that I would ultimately marry oneday. This year, however, marriage seems to be the furthest thing from my mind. It was as if upon preparing myself for what I hoped to attract, I messed around and fell in love with myself. I found myself so captivated by God's love for me that I became so secure and content in my singleness. I stumpled upon a thing called wholeness.

Wholeness (noun) the state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity. The state of being unbroken or undamaged.

I never thought it was possible to love myself more than I did before, until I did. That love engulfed me in waves, captivating my soul and massaging the scars that I'd thought I burried from so long ago. You think you love yourself until it becomes something so effortlessly fullfilling that you often wonder how you ever lived life without the type of love you developed for yourself. Being alone for the rest of your life no longer sounds like a death sentence when you're completely enthralled with the person you're becoming.

I realize that self love comes in stages. It sort of begins as tolerance for who you are and what you have to offer then eventually develops into genuine appreciation for the space that you occupy in this world. Self love is such an ongoing experience that seems to progress with time. No longer did I recognize my state of being alone as the inconvenience that so many women deemed it as.

Being single, you always hear things like "Are you dating anyone?" or "When are you going to settle down? " The truth of the matter is, I never want to settle down because that means actually having to lower myself in order to seem fullfilled by another. I'm already fullfilled by myself so joining a union with someone should be more about leveling up than settling down. Recognizing that two Whole individuals can become a powerful unit together. With aligned purposes, the unit knows that they can accomplish far more in this world working together.

With delevoping a sense of wholeness, I recognize that having a purpose mate is more about bringing glory to the Kingdom than merelt just falling in love. Love is fine and dandy, but when you already have it within yourself first it's not the sole thing that matters. A union should be to impact the world in a better way. If the two of you together bring more joy to not only each other,  but also the ones around you then you are on to something.

On this Valentine's day I write this post to anyone single. Don't let a holiday built on capitalism make you feel inadequate. You are worthy of more love on a daily than what is often fakely displayed on today. Start giving that type of love to yourself. Love even the parts of you that are not so perfect. Aim for wholeness so that you no longer seek the validation of a taken relationship status. You are worthy of everything pure and good in this world. Recognize that you are both the lemon and the squeeze so never settle. You deserve the best; you deserve yourself. You are the prize so stop searching for it. (To my couples out there having a lot of fun on tonight: I'll be seeing some of your Scorpio children in October/November. Congratulations! Aunty Emiko can't wait to meet ya'll. Lol)