Peeking from the Outside

Maybe you'd walk past them on the streets and wonder what made them give up?  Surely if they knew the goodness of God or even the power of manifesting their own thoughts to create their better tomorrow then they wouldn't feel they had to be there. It's easy to make assumptions peeking from the outside until it's you. You never think it'll happen to you or at least I didn't until this year.  In the blink of an eye it was me. I was homeless. Although this was my second time being homeless, it was much different than the last. I had no job to break my fall nor any friends to couch surf between until I got on my feet.

This time I was in a new city and state with nobody I could turn to.  I would soon learn how easy it would be to end up on the streets. Although a thing called grace saved me from the streets, I realize how easily it could've been me. It's often difficult to press on and stay resilent when it seems like nothing is working in your favor, but that's moment when a thing called faith has to step in to aid you in remaining positive.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1)

My pride wouldn't allow me to accept the fact that I had nowhere to go. I recognize now that my safety net was my travel. I figured if I was going to be homeless and jobless, I would keep traveling while letting life figure itself out, instead of merely watching my savings dwindle into non existence. On Christmas day, I purchased two oneway tickets; one to New York and another to Miami using the majority of my last $300.

Spending nearly 3 weeks in airports has taught me so much. Out of all the airports, the most comfortable by far was JFK. American Airlines had cots in the terminal, making it not only easy to get rest, but also a great way to go unnoticed. Being that the airport was so large and each airline area had their own areas, you could easily go undetected.

Miami, on the other hand, was a totally different story and not so easy although I did manage to stay there for a week. The shifts in crowds cleared out the airport to nearly empty at certain times. During those times, airport police officers began to pester those who were not traveling. I find it ironic how quickly they went from praising me for buying food for an older homeless black man to threatening to kick me out because I had no destination. Trying to get rest , I had a blanket over my head which I assumed is what had eventually caused attention to me even though I was in the blind spot of a seating area.

Maybe I stayed in that particular spor too long, because before I knew it an officer had finally approached me to let me know that I had to find somewhere else to go. I was no longer the nice samaritan that they thanked for being riteous, but public property on display for scrutiny. It's easy for people to talk to you like a person when you seem like you're just another passing traveler. The moment they realize you aren't, you're no longer human, but an annoyance that they want to go away.

I don't know how, but I managed to get a ticket back to Atlanta after a call to Delta customer care. The counter agent was even confused at the fact that I managed to get an old missed flight from 6 months ago switched out for a brand new ticket. I guess it's that thing called grace because once again, God's cushion made provisions on my behalf.

When people know you are homeless, they are so quick to tell you to go to a shelter. That's what I would have done in the past because that's what we are conditioned to believe. I often wondered myself why people would rather line the streets begging for change instead of going to a shelter. Granted there are some drug addicts looking to pay for their next fix and others who have made begging their hustle, there are also people actually really need the help. Shelters are sometimes far and few. In most cases, they tend to run them on a lottery system as if it's The hunger games. Most Atlanta shelters make you come early to get a ticket just to be talked to and even then, that STILL doesn't secure you a bed in a shelter. Imagine having to wait all day for assistance only to be told the beds are full. If that doesn't sound bad enough many shelters have bedbugs and mold while feeding residence expired food. Having ate expired food before while facing hard times years ago, I can tell you that it's not fun worrying about if you're going to be sick the next day after eating expired spaghetti noodles to avoid your growing hunger pains.

After being elected to office, Keisha Lance Bottoms started an initiative to stop homeless people from staying at the Atlanta airport. I couldn't help, but notice how much the airport changed in nearly two and a half weeks since I'd last been there on New Year's Eve. There were now routine checks daily for tickets and the once congested area of houseless individuals that decorated the floors and seats of the airport were no more. Although it seemed to improved the appearance of the airport and make it safer from some of the lingering drug dealers that usually circulated the area, it didn't do anything to aid the homeless.

What good is throwing someone on the Marta transit with no place to go? Sure you may give them directions to a local shelter, but what happens to them then? All the beds are full and there are far less government assistance in Atlanta than even in California. That's saying a lot because even in California assistance is sometimes hard to come by. Regardless, you can at least sometimes manage to get a cheap motel/hotel voucher in some areas in Southern California. There's no real assistance in the Metro Atlanta area. Cash aid tends to only be reserved for minors or women with children so even being able to get a cheap airbnb is not feasible for some. Houseless individuals hide amongst the crevices of the obscure areas in hopes that they won't be baggered by police who often treat them as if their existence doesn't matter. Our existence no longer matters when we fall on hard times because we've somehow brought it on ourselves. Nobody deserves to live on the streets and be turned away from assistance. ALL PEOPLE should have the opportunity to have a safe place to rest their heads and access to nutritional meals, but the reality is that is not often the case. People are constantly getting turned away daily from getting the assistance they deserve.

After being at the airport for two days, I found myself with nowhere to go once I was force to leave the airport. Luckily my cousin was able to send me $100 so I could pay my phone bill so potential jobs could contact me, eat, and get around for the next few days. I found myself pressed with the difficult task of deciding on whether I should eat for the next few days or get an airbnb for two days. With nowhere to go, I ultimately decided to go to the emergency room of a nearby hospital. Maybe if I had to be admitted, they would have to keep me for a few days. I always hated hospitals, but in one moment it went from being my enemy to my potential savior.

My legs and feet had gotten so swollen from sitting so long on the uncomfortable airport seats and walking. I finally took the advice of a waitress I'd met at I hop to go to the doctor after they had not gotten any better after elevating and Icing them for hours. I sat at an emergency room for hours. After falling asleep and waking up the next morning, I realized I had been there all night without being seen. I went to the window only to be told that the nurse from the night before never even signed me in.

I left the hospital and headed to the bank to deposit the money my cousin wired me through western union. The nice uber driver also gave me a ride to chick fila for no charge after giving me numbers to a few shelters. After ordering breakfast so I wouldn't appear to be loitering, I sat there for hours trying to decide where I could go next. I applied to jobs and called several shelters. To my dismay, every shelter in the area was full and had no beds available.

Feeling discouraged, I set out to a local Staples to print flyers for my book. I figured if nobody was calling me for jobs, I could at least promote my book in order to generate enough sales to survive. Instead of printing flyers since my email seemed to not send my attachment, I met a woman who made it her business after she heard of my situation. I could no longer be prideful. She sat awhile with me calling awhile to shelters and people she knew while also offering job suggestions.

When she had to leave for work and bible study, she promised to call me later to sure I had somewhere to stay. (Refer to previous post) Eventually God was able to provide a free place for me to stay for the next two weeks. God managed to find somewhere to stay after I posted to a facebook housing group asking for help since all the shelters were full. Not everyone has access to a phone let alone social media so my situation could've been easily been different. The people who opened their home didn't know me, but they felt compassionate enough to help me. They fed me and gave me a room to stay in without seeking anything in return. The power of God has the ability to work miracles even in times of distress. I share this post to bring awareness to the arising homeless epidemic in the United States and let people know how easy it can for anyone to be on the street. A few months ago I had a good paying job at At&t trying to rebuild in Boston before life threw yet another curveball at me forcing me to move once again with nothing. Nobody is exempt from life's many curveballs and homelessness can easily become anybody's reality no matter what their current situation may look like at the time. There are celebrities that find themselves homeless even after making millions. Be kind to everyone and never look down on someone's situation because you never know when it can be you.